What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

So I’m getting piano lessons and my teacher wants me to get an upright piano instead of a keyboard. An upright piano is way above my price range, so what do I do? And what’s the difference between an upright piano and a keyboard?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

How do you feel cockroach?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Is it because Trump is impulsive that he is never on time?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In what circumstances might a chaperone be appropriate for a medical examination?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What happens to single guys when they get older?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Why does my intimate area “sweat” and smell so much? I almost have to have a shower everyday. How do I get rid of this?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

How do professional musicians handle their equipment during gigs? Do they bring their own or use the venue's sound system?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What are the ten cars that make me no longer feel inferior?

TEXT:

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why has Biden pulled ahead in battleground states and is now projected to win the 2024 presidency?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

My husband asked me why do I keep on complaining about him cheating. Why don't I just leave?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

How is bestiality wrong, but killing animals for sport or trophies is considered okay?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!